“Though silence is a traditional part of their lives, Trappists take no such vow. Maintaining silence (to increase contemplation) does not by itself rule out communication (which they do in sign language)…. Writing is a form of contemplation.”

— Robert Giroux’s Introduction to Thomas Merton’s “The Seven Storey Mountain, an Autobiography of Faith,” 50th Anniversary Edition, 1998. Harcourt, Inc.

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Yesterday, a memory of New Year’s Eve 2015 floated across my facebook consciousness, and I recalled the energizing feeling that came with declaring a single word to guide me into the new year – a year full of hope, possibility and purposeful change within myself.  After 2014 being Unstoppable, 2015 being Unconquerable, and 2016 bringing to fruition so many beautiful changes, allowing me to become so  much of what was Possible, adding “wife” and “stepmom” to my resume, I suppose I thought I no longer needed a word to shape my years, because my life seemed full and beautifully complete.  However, I couldn’t remember the last time I thought to choose a word, and suppose that endeavor fell by the wayside because as I realized so many beautiful possibilities, I was just TIRED.  All.  The.  Time.  

And with that feeling of tiredness, came depletion of the will to strive for anything more than just getting through each day, resting my head and closing my eyes at the end of it, surrendering to the sweetness of sleep beside my wonderful husband, happy, content and meekly resigned to the dread of the onslaught of another morning with the promise of a new day of more of the same hectic and harried pace.  Without a word of declaration as to how I would spend my New Year, I realized that I may have missed out on the satisfaction of expanding my heart, mind and soul as the days passed and a few more trips around the Sun have brought us, once again, to January 1st.  Without a flashpoint of that one word, those days seem to have been filled with to-do lists, calls to return, emails to respond to, files to prepare, appointments set, missed or rescheduled, dirty paws, messy rooms, dinners to make, piles of laundry, and an endless sense that in virtually every aspect of life, I was falling short and missing out on something deeply nurturing.  Maybe it was COVID and the creeping insanity of 2020 and 2021 that left me in a free fall.  It’s hard to say….

So, as I sat in prayer time yesterday, I sought a word from the Word.  I closed my eyes and recalled the beautiful, peaceful feeling I’d conjured just days before, of myself in a meadow, buoyed by the sunlight and grace of God, enveloped in wildflowers and experiencing nothing but total bliss, as if cradled by the hand of God.  And the word came to me.  “Wait… what was that?  No… no…. That’s not the word for me for 2022. It’s too… too… just not a word for me.”  And I pressed on, and the word returned to me.  “No… it’s not enough.”  So I opened the Bible and flipped from page to page, searching for something that energized me and that I could boldly proclaim as the word for 2022 – forcing action and triumph.  I looked, looked, and looked some more, but found nothing that resonated with me, or conveyed that sense of powerful purpose I was looking for. 

In His persistence, that one word came at me again, floating across the darkness of the night sky, through a galaxy brightened by the infinite light of a billion stars, to rest upon me in a meadow of wildflowers. “What’s that, you say?”  

STILL.

From a purely didactic perspective, the dictionary tells us that “still” can be a noun, a verb, an adjective, an adverb and a sentence connector!  “Still” is the ultimate lectionary utility-player – it can literally, mean and do, just about anything.  

still1

^{/ (stɪl) /}

---

adjective

(usually predicative) motionless; stationary

undisturbed or tranquil; silent and calm

adverb

continuing now or in the future as in the past

up to this or that time; yet

noun

poetic silence or tranquillity

verb

to make or become still, quiet, or calm

(tr) to allay or relieve 

sentence connector

even then; nevertheless

For me, STILL invokes a sense of peace and calm, as in “still waters run deep.”  It suggests a sense of perpetuity, as in “are you still spinning your wheels? Do you still not know? Are we still in a pandemic?” As a verb, it ironically expresses inaction and not-doing, as in “be still!”  Be still….. 

“Be still, and know that I am God! I am exalted among the nations, I am exalted in the earth.” The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. Psalm 46:10-11 

This battle is not for you to fight; take your position, stand still, and see the victory of the Lord on your behalf, O Judah and Jerusalem.’ Do not fear or be dismayed; tomorrow go out against them, and the Lord will be with you.” 2 Chronicles 20:17 

Be still before the Lord, and wait patiently for him; do not fret over those who prosper in their way, over those who carry out evil devices. Psalm 37:7 

And He said, “Go forth, and stand upon the mount before the Lord.” And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains and broke in pieces the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a still small voice. 1 Kings 19:11-12  

There is tremendous power and assured victory in being STILL, because in that place, we are free to experience a connection with God, to turn over all of our cares, concerns and to-do lists to the work of His hands.  Being STILL doesn’t mean we become inert, but that we allow ourselves to become the clay in His hand, and with the gentleness of creation, He presses and molds the clay, infusing it with His holy will and purpose for our lives.  He infuses us with His energy as soon as we are still, when we press “pause” on the frenetic pace that this life sometimes forces upon us, and listen for His voice so that we can receive His guidance, His help, His protection and His provision.  God yearns to meet us in the stillness; He wants us to yearn to hear His still, small voice.  He wants us to experience lives of purpose and promise and ultimately, triumph over all of the noise and distraction of this world.  Stepping into the new year, I really can’t think of anything better.  I also can’t think of anything more challenging – can you?

2022: STILL.